I have been living in the UK for 10 years now so I am quite used to all the weird English things, some of them were pretty shocking when I first got here :).
DIFFERENT PLUGS AND SOCKETS
I know now that the UK is all about H&S, extra pin in English plugs show you how crazy they are about „being safe” 😉 I like switch in the sockets, I find it irritating now when cannot switch the lamp off just using the socket switch.
BASINS WITH 2 TAPS
I asked few English people why would they have 2 taps: one with ice-cold water and other with lava hot liquid instead of mixing tap. No one could explain. You can still find them in older houses or buy new in B&Q and install in your house if you hate your family.
DRIVING
Europeans will not like it but I actually learnt how to drive on the left side and like it better than driving in Europe. Let’s not forget that cars with the steering wheel on the right side of the car and driving on the left side of the road is legal in Japan, India, Pakistan, Australia, New Zealand, Ireland and some of Southern African countries. British cars have white registration plates in front and yellow ones at the back-end. Again, no one knows why.
Important thing to remember: British law is very harsh for drivers. One bad tyre – 3 points and £60 fee. Breaking speed limit – 3 points and £60 fee. Your driving license gets taken away when you reach 12 points. Points stay on your license for 3 years. Slightly shocking for Poles which are used to 21 points that only stay on your license for only 12 months.
Warning for pedestrians from the continent: concentrate on looking right, left and right again when you want to cross the road, it is other than round! Also, cars are more important on the road, you have to let them go first unless driver waves to you graciously 😉
WHAT IS YOUR WEIGHT? 12 STONES AND 2 POUNDS.
Ok, what’s that? Europeans have no idea what it means but Brits are stubborn and don’t want to use kilograms (that’s actually 77 kg). But that’s not everything.
• How tall are you? 5 foot 8. What? Everywhere else in Europe it would be 173 cm.
• How far do you live from here? 16 miles. Metric system originates in France, the UK will never adopt it so we have to multiply everything by 1.6 to get rough idea about distances.
• What’s the fuel consumption of your car? It’s very economical, I am getting 60 mpg from it! What? Miles per gallon. Gallon? Yes, 4.456 litre. Is there anything more complicated? 60 mpg is 4.7 litre per 100 km, music to ears of the rest of Europe 😉
• Last but not least: Brits drink beer in pints (0.56 litre), first number that comes to your mind is dozen (12) or half a dozen, not 10 or 5 (maybe some English had 12 fingers?), dimensions are in yards, feet and inches, temperature is in degrees of Fahrenheit. Hot English summer day is 70 Fahrenheit (20 Celsius).
PEOPLE ARE FAT. I MEAN REALLY FAT.
The amount of fat people everywhere is shocking as is social acceptance of this condition. You are fat people, stop eating crap and start moving so maybe in few months you will not have to look for your size in a parachute shop.
Seeing obese people is no longer something strange or unusual; it is normal and natural nowadays. 
Even dogs are getting fat in the UK.
ENGLISH CUISINE
Non existing. Some people say fish and chips. Or curry. But I don’t think that chips fried in deep oil together with fish fried next to it, originally served on yesterday’s newspaper should be part of any cuisine. And curry came from India. Just like tea. Yes, there are some pies and black pudding but you can count them on your fingers.
Horrible, horrible bread makes their food PR even worse.
Unfortunately people having breakfast at McDonald’s instead of home made sandwiches is something normal, which explains why most of Brits are overweight or obese.
RELIANT ROBIN
Plastic car looking vehicle with 3 wheels, very dangerous to drive but you only need a motorbike driving licence for it. Words can’t express my feelings about it, just watch this video:
HOW FAR IS THE AIRPORT? HALF AN HOUR AWAY.
I have adopted this way of giving distance measurements and understand the sense of it (I don’t care how far it is but when I will be there) but it drives some Europeans mad 😉
POWERLESS BATHROOM
Do you want to dry your hair in the bathroom? Only if you have a cordless hair dryer. Or long cord. And one more thing; you will also never find a light switch in the bathroom / shower room / toilet. Health and Safety. This little bit of mist and fog may electrocute you so you can switch the light on using a string hanging from a ceiling. If you pull the wrong string all you will do is switch the electric shower off. Cos there are 2 strings.
LA MANCHE
That’s how French people call English Channel.
HOUSE DECORATIONS
You will love houses in the UK if you are a fan of magnolia (colour) and wall paper (usually magnolia. Often black).
On top of that you will get a fire place (often just a piece of plastic covering a hole in the wall), steep stairs, washing machine in the kitchen and guest star: mould in few corners.
CRICKET
I really don’t know what to write there. Very boring, static, strange game, a lot of people dressed white, standing around, sometimes smacking the ball with a cricket bat, creating 10 second buzz and then everyone calms down again. Popular in England, India and Pakistan. Well done.
UGLY WOMEN
Most men thinking about British women think Catherine Zeta Jones (from Wales):
Or Kelly Brook:
The reality is breathtaking but in different way:
I am sorry, that was a joke, that’s really what I meant:
I hope you know what to expect now, have fun when you get here! Polish version coming soon!
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